"When I was young I was not that eager to learn about my roots but by the time this whole thing begun to feel like an open question waited to be answered"
56 years old adoptee

"I would like to know about my mother. What's the color of her hair.. Is she in good health? Did she have a good and happy life?"
34 years old adoptee

The feeling is the same for all those who want to discover and learn more about their origin, regardless of age, marital or financial status. The anticipation and the waiting for this discovery is their most important aim in life.

-Who am I, where am I from, how does this woman who gave birth to me look like, why did she leave me?

The same imperative questions that made Oedipus and Mosses suffer. Every people, in their own way, presented examples of baby abandonment and of the need for searching through all the happy or depressing dimensions associated with this search.

The issues of abandonment, adoption and roots searching represent vital needs for adoptees without that meaning that they do not respect or love anymore their adoptive parents.

Adoptive parents are the family model for stability, love and often devotion. However, this not enough to make adoptees forget about their birth mother, since they lived together with (inside) her for nine months and they came to life being a part of her body and blood. As long as this image remains fixated in their mind, it creates torturing questions and anguish. This guide was drafted in order to help those who experienced adoption. The contribution of all these people, used as examples here, is of priceless value. No real names are used here for principles of morality. We hope that this guide will help many to their search.

Most people are curious to learn about their families; how did their parents meet, what was their job, which school did they go to, where did they live when they were children, who were their ancestors, aunts and uncles, cousins. Generally, this information is built under time. This however does not happen with adopted people. If the adoptive family is not in the position to provide this information, the replies to these questions have to be found in another way.

If you are adopted, maybe you know something regarding your birth family or nothing at all. Maybe you know the name of the mother who gave birth to you or where this birth took place. In case you do not know this information, maybe you hesitate to ask your adoptive parents. And they, from their side, may not have any information at all, except for the formal documents or they are dead.
Another possibility is that your adoptive parents have given you all the written information they have but you want more and you may want to research a little further and maybe meet your birth family.
Certainly you do not know, already from the beginning, how long you want to go but you have the feeling that there must be a starting point.

Where to start from and how
read more ->

So, now, you have decided to start a search. Every adopted person starts the journey to self-discovery in his/her own way. There is no standard timing for this start. It could be something you wanted to do all along or something that you were motivated to do after an important point in your life, such as a marriage, the birth of a child or the death of the adoptive parents. You should be aware, however, of the various emotions you are going to experience; fear, guiltiness, anger, eagerness is going to become a part of your life. You might want to change your mind several times regarding your decision to search. You may also start but then stop. It is also possible that you do not always like what you find; bear in mind that not all searches have happy endings. There will be times that things will move fast and times that there will be delays. Regardless of the developments, fast or slow, you definitely need somebody to guide you.

Legal Law 2447, 30 December 1996
This law came to regulate adoption issues. Many of the old articles were removed and new were added. The essential change regards the article 1559, paragraph 2: "The child is allowed to learn from his/her adoptive parents about the adoption but any information about the birth family is provided only to adults (the adoptee has to be at least 18 years old)."
This makes the dream of thousands of adoptees true. Through legal means they can now proceed to the desired search. Of course, there are still lots of problems but we hope that the state will provide us with solutions really soon. The effort for the rights of adoptees does not cease till they manage to obtain the appropriate legal changes, in order to harmonize the relevant legal framework with the one existing already in the other European countries.

"I have always felt the need to find my birth mother. Now it is the right time to do it, before I spend the rest of my life having questions."
42 years old adoptee

"The reason that led me to the search was to find somebody else, except for my children, with whom I have the same blood and because I wanted my birth mother to know that I thought about her often and I have been wondering whether I or my children look like her or share common character traits."
35 years old female adoptee

"I was very young when I got pregnant and my parents sent me to Mitera Baby Center where I stayed till I gave birth. Nobody got to know about my pregnancy and my little baby daughter was then placed for adoption. Now my parents are dead, I never created a family of my own and I get to live with the grief for my lost daughter, which I will never come over "
38 years old single mother

Public documents
You have full legal rights to you personal documents, such as birth certificate, adoption decision, adoption file etc. Information about the way you can access them is given only to you and nobody else, since this information is not public domain by law.
Roots Research Center can help you a lot in this research. We can also supply you with all the relevant application forms you should fill in order to send them to the Greek Public Services.
You should know that you are fully entitled to get a certified copy of your adoption file from the institute which carried out your adoption.

Counseling
Before embarking for your search you might want to discuss your case with a specialist who can help you. Some adoptees feel uncomfortable to talk with the social worker of the institute from where they were placed for adoption, because of emotional reasons.

A counselor is skilled to offer you impartial advice and to identify problems and difficulties that you might meet in your searching.

Many institutes may have stopped their adoption activities and may have not a service for family searching and reuniting. Other institutes have only just a secretary to service their public. Obtaining just a copy of your file is not always enough. On the contrary, some times this raises more uncertainties, questions and confusion and the results of an unsystematic searching can hurt many people. For any reason, you may address to our center where a counselor will help you with your questions. At the same time you may participate in one of our self-support groups together with other adoptees, under the guidance of a specialist.

You may have access to guidance and counseling regardless of the fact whether you want to start a search or not. Many times, counseling is a way for you achieve better self-understanding, to reduce tension and get an answer to your questions.

How Roots Research Center can help you
Our center is an NGO based on volunteers help and it can provide support to the problems encountered by adult adoptees. Regardless of whether you are members or not it should be useful for you to know our existence. If you subscribe to our adoptions database you obtain continuous information. We keep our adoption records constantly updated. These records relate to people involved in an adoption, seeking their birth families or their children, or looking for legal information and counseling regarding adoption. Before we give you any data we offer you all the relevant information in order to protect all the involved parties and their personal data.

What does it cost?
Subscription to the center and counseling is free of charge. You would be asked to pay for travel/accommodation expenses (if any) associated with the search in case your legal representative from the center has to travel in order to obtain information relevant to your case.

For those who are interested in our activities, but live abroad, please check our webpage www.roots-research-center.gr. You may always contact us through e-mail moira@hol.gr and if you want to subscribe send us a signed authorization that you want us to proceed to the search acting as your legal representative. Only after this authorization we have the legal right to represent you.

The costs incurred from translation, authorization and communication (long distance calls, faxes etc) are paid by the interested party. Our aim and our pleasure are to achieve reunions and to comfort the pain of those who do not achieve the desired results in their search. Your donations -which are the only source of income for the center-, offer a financial relief as we do not have any financial support from the state.

Communicating with the family
Most adoptees are very stressed when they reach the point to communicate with the birth family. The fear of rejection or of something going wrong and that they will lose the chance they've been waiting for, for so long, makes them very worried. You should know that this applies to both sides. No one can tell you what is wrong and what is correct. You must simply understand that before attempting any meeting with your birth family you should take seriously into consideration the aftermaths of this contact.

If your birth parents are still alive, you should think of their feelings too. Maybe you want somebody to be with you in the first meeting, or maybe you want to be there alone but to discuss about it beforehand with an expert.

Whatever is your decision, the center will support you. No one can guarantee that your birth mother of family will agree to meet you, for many and unpleasant obvious reasons.

"I can understand my mother's silence and her refusal to meet me. Her reasons must be very serious and now she treats me as a threat for her life. Her trauma cannot be healed, as my gap cannot be filled. "
Rejection of adoptee, 32 years old

"I was not expecting such an end to my searching. I wanted so much to meet and understand her..."
Rejection of adoptee, 48 years old

"I met recently a sister and a brother from my birth mother's side. She has a good family; she was understanding and happy about me. They hugged me and this made me happy. "
Successful reunion of an adoptee 52 years old

"My adoptive mother did her best for me to find my birth mother. She joined me to the counselor and then to my first meeting with my birth mother. It was all so strange and our feelings were mixed: love, fear and tension. The result was not successful. My birth mother did not want to continue contacting me. At least now I have answered my questions..."
Female adoptee 35 years old

"I traveled from the States to meet my birth mother. I was much tensed and my knees were shaking. We met with the help of one of the counselors. She has a family that they do not know about my existence. We cried and hugged each other but the language barrier was the biggest. Maybe I will never understand her, tell her about my life, learn about hers, we are very different, there is a huge gap between us. We kissed and left. I write her letters which I never send and which she could not read. She called me a couple of times. She said…
-Linda ......mama"
Female adoptee from the States 42 years old